Why Thailand?
A Guide For An Outrageous Vacation

Why Thailand eBook Excerpt:

Farangs who might otherwise be fighting among themselves over the girls, are generally more concerned about how best to ration their precious bodily essence as they come to the realization that, no matter what, they will never be able to bed all the willing lasses in LOS.

Talk about willing: While walking back to my hotel in the early afternoon I hear, "I want go with you short time" (announced, for all the world to hear, from a bargirl as banter but also quite ready to follow through). I respond with, "Bai mia noi" (I'm going to see my mistress). This elicits squeals of delight and teasing.

The truth though is that I need to rest, I really do.

Another afternoon (not much business in the afternoons during low season), and again walking to my hotel, a girl from another beer bar steps into my path and, while playfully pinching my nipple, coquettishly asks, "Why you no remember me?"

I'm thrown off my stride trying to think whether I have indeed barfined her before (I've no idea who she is) or whether she's just teasing. I decide on the latter, though with the blur of partying night after night, I'll never know for sure. I mumble, "Tomorrow I see you" and push on.

Rest. I've just got to get more rest.

It's hard not to like this place.

I'm in Bangkok at my expat friend's condo. I'm introduced to his twenty-something 'maid' who, while perched on his lap (he's sixty), asks him whether she should get a girl for me. I beg off as we have a long business meeting ahead and I have an early morning flight (I'm also pretty much boom-singed out). I need rest.

It's really hard not to like this place.

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