Why Thailand?
A Guide For An Outrageous Vacation

To Begin With

Thai girls are comparatively homogeneous: long black silky hair, almond shaped eyes, fine-pored creamy nut brown skin, virtually non-existent body hair, petite, small-busted, demure, and with a demeanor suggesting that you come first. Their small body size evokes innocence and femininity.

There's also variation in any population, so yes, others are larger with bigger hips and busts.

And some girls are rather statuesque having high cheekbones, broad shoulders, narrow waists, slim hips, exceptional busts, and butts firm enough to bounce a coin off of. These hard body girls dress to kill and are not shy. Not the least bit shy...

Unfortunately, the hard body girls are not exactly girls. These are ladyboys (also known as Katoeys or, as the Thais say, "Ladies of the second category" ). Yes, with the advent of modern medicine, he(s) can be changed into she(s).

Don't let this be a concern. Unless you're stumbling drunk you'll be able to spot the difference. If you're unsure of your beloved's gender status, ask, "Are you a girl?" Ladyboys either tell the truth or get defensive, whereas real girls giggle as only real girls can.

It's ironic that what's desirable in the West - athletic, well-toned, somewhat muscular women - is a ladyboy in the East. All part of traveling the world. A live and let live stance is the best approach here.

While on this subject, be aware that Thailand is also a popular destination for gay tourists. What? You think only you own the world? Be nice, learn to share and give them their space. Gays aren't going to bother you. They just want to be left alone.

So what should your reaction be if you see a farang holding hands with a Thai guy? Well, seeing as you're holding hands with a Thai girl, you're hardly in a position to talk.

Newbie Tip:
Another reason to stay in a hotel instead of renting an apartment is that hotel personnel can be enormously valuable. Try to make a point of introducing yourself to the hotel's front desk staff and exchange pleasantries.

Let's say you've been regularly showing up in the wee hours with new ladies in tow and one evening, after drinking quite a bit, you show up with your latest companion. If appropriate, good front desk staff will discreetly inquire whether you really want to spend the evening with your new gentleman friend.