Why Thailand?
A Guide For An Outrageous Vacation


And Sometimes It Works Out

When it's good, it's very, very good

Scene:  The Living Dolls agogo (not to be confused with the Living Dolls Showcase agogo).

I'm sitting looking at the dancers. Suddenly I go blind! (No, not from too much one-handed bicep exercise). My eyes are covered by someone's hands and I'm trying to think which of the girls it might be. I turn. I don't know this one, though she's very easy on my now-restored sight.

"Oh" introduces herself. Friendly (very) with her grinding on me (I'm not complaining). We talk. Another dancer, "Da", joins in. And then "Pen", a waitress I've known previously in the biblical sense, also joins in. Okay, I admit it's not my charisma which attracts them, but rather my wallet (I buy lady drinks for them).

This is all going quite well so I barfine voluptuous Oh (Back in farangland this 21-year-old would be virtually unattainable. Here in LOS though, as beautiful as she is, she is merely dime-a-dozen.) I feel lucky as one should always be appreciative when fortune smiles upon you.

I'm feeling good (What's not to like?). Oh and I are going dancing over at XZyte (simply the best disco in Pattaya). I offer to barfine Da (only for dancing - hey, I'm not 25 anymore). Pen weighs in with, "Me too?" I say, "What the hell - sure." And so it transpires that the four of us, Oh, Da, Pen, and myself traipse off to XZyte.

Lesson #1:  Always ask the girls if they have their ID with them. I forgot to ask, but fortunately they all do.

Lesson #2 (which I also forgot):  Ask if they're of age. Da is 19 and was simply hoping, somehow, to get into XZyte. No such luck. The minimum age is 20 to go into any establishment serving alcohol. Mind you, Da is apparently old enough to work in a bar where alcohol is served - and to fuck for a living. But technically, she is too young to enter the same bar where she works if she was a customer (in reality, bars don't check the customers' ID). Go figure. I give Da taxi money and bid her farewell.

Now we are three. We have a great time drinking and dancing. Some highlights (or lowlights, depending on your point of view). On a raised dance platform, a ladyboy dances with a gay guy, then she/he is dancing with a Thai girl. (Although ladyboys are sometimes lighty teased by the girls, they're also accepted as "sisters".)

Nearby is a farang couple with the woman drinking and dancing with ALL the surrounding Thai girls - each trying to outdo the other in dirty dancing. The farang guy joins in and there's all manner of combinations of two girls plus one guy, two girls, and three girls.

XZyte, in other words, was fun. 1 am rolls around and Oh and I bid farewell to Pen, who asked to keep the rest of the whiskey bottle as she wanted to continue the evening at a karaoke (Pen ends up AWOL from work the following two nights due to a big, big hangover).

Oh and I have a very nice night and I've decided to make her my steady squeeze for the remainder of my trip.

Sometimes it works out.